Clinton Begs Pals For Cash After Borneo Raid

Strapped for cash, disgraced presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has begged affluent friends for financial support in the aftermath of a September 1 Special Forces raid on a Clinton Foundation owned home on the island nation of Borneo. The Special Forces team reportedly confiscated $275,000,000 in cash and 700 pounds of black tar heroin.

Since then, Clinton has approached more than a dozen wealthy friends and associates in hopes of rebuilding her financial empire in advance of the 2020 election cycle, says a source intimately acquainted with Clinton’s inner circle. He said she continually mulls over the idea of running again and that she, along with her clique, still believes that Donald Trump and working class Americans stole the election from under her nose. Last week, she said she intends to be the first post-apocalypse president, hinting at forthcoming Nibiru cataclysm, and she expressed hope that her daughter, Chelsea, would ultimately succeed her.

However, her hopes hinge on raising substantial capitol.

“The Borneo raid hit her hard. The money was slotted to finance either her own campaign or whomever she wants to see in office. Make no mistake, she still isn’t broke, but the loss of a quarter billion dollars has crippled her ability to run a campaign. All that cash would have been used to run negative attack ads on Trump in 2020.  That’s why she’s now soliciting her pals for money,” our source said.

On Tuesday, Clinton met privately with Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. She asked him for a $25,000,000 “donation” toward fixing damage President Trump had inflicted on America and the world. When Bezos said campaign finance laws proscribe personal donations in excess of $2700 to a candidate or $5000 to a political action committee, Clinton promised to use every loophole at her disposal to obfuscate the donation’s origin.

“She is a master of deception and knows how to wash money,” our source said. “She has slush funds and private accounts in the Cayman Islands and Geneva. She also has many other safe houses like the one in Borneo where stores untraceable assets. Bezos did not give her an immediate answer, but knowing their relationship, I believe he will fork over the money. He’s not the only person she approached.”

She also met with American financier and registered sex offender Jeffrey Epstein at his 50,000-square-foot private residence in Manhattan. She requested a $10,000,000 contribution in crypto currency because Donald Trump and the Department of Justice were weaving an anfractuous plot designed to bankrupt her. When Epstein asked how she planned to unseat Trump, Clinton purportedly replied, “I’ll take care of that. Trump the frump is just keeping me seat warm.” According to our source, Epstein jumped at the opportunity to assist his lifelong friend.

Moreover, Clinton has been in direct communication with Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg, who has openly supported her and used his social media platform to espouse her ideology. Our source said in 2015 Zuckerberg illicitly transferred more than $7,000,000 to Clinton-controlled bank accounts and swore a lifelong oath to support her. Thus, it is likely that he and his perfidious friends will muster their resources to aid Clinton’s quest for power.


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