FEMA: “USE NUKES TO WEAKEN HURRICANES”

While Tropical Storm Florence spins through the Atlantic on a course that will likely affect the eastern seaboard late next week, senior Federal Emergency Management officials met privately on Friday to strategize ways of combatting a marked increase in global weather events. At the meeting, FEMA Chief of Staff Eric Heighberger, who previously served as House Homeland Security Committee director, made a shocking suggestion that raised alarm even among his own staff. He suggested using low-yield tactical nuclear weapons to disrupt dangerous hurricanes.

He said that Air Force jets could drop a B-61—a variable yield thermonuclear gravity bomb—into the eye of a hurricane. Heighberger has no scientific credentials; his background is in Iegal issues and business. He admitted the idea was wholly his own and that he had not sought outside guidance to establish the veracity or safety of his whimsical idea. Besides, there is no precedence for using weapons of mass destruction to fight storms.

“Since we have the weapons, we might as well use them so they don’t go to waste. It can’t hurt to try,” Heighberger said.

More alarming is exactly how Heighberger intends to enact his sinister agenda. He told subordinates that for maximum efficiency the release of nuclear weapons must occur only after a major hurricane is within a few hours of making landfall on the continental United States. In other words, he does not want to drop bombs in the middle of the ocean. He wants to drop them within one hundred miles of heavily populated, congested cities, where prevailing winds would contaminate major populations centers with tons of radioactive fallout. Any loss of life, Heighberger said, pales in comparison to the billions of dollars in insurance claims typically paid out by the government and private agencies following a major disaster.

“Collateral damage,” Heighberger had said. “I think it’s a sound idea. Just because no one has before doesn’t mean it won’t work. We have to be inventive going forth into the future. We’re living in a new age and we must use new methods to accomplish our goals. If we don’t, we stagnate.”

Fortunately, his maniacal notions encountered resistance. FEMA region three commander MaryAnn Tierney, also in attendance, dismissed Heighberger’s plan as foolish, saying that FEMA need not rely on nuclear weapons to save government money. Region IV supervisor Gracia Szczech, whose family resides on Cape Hatteras, said any attack on the American population must not jeopardize lives of FEMA employees of their families.  But FEMA Associate Administrator Carlos Castillo applauded Heighberger’s objectives, arguing that a 21st Century FEMA should employ 21st Century tactics to defeat the growing threat of civil insurrection.

At the meeting’s conclusion, Heighberger said he’d present his findings to FEMA honcho Brock Long and DHS Secretary Kirstjen M. Nielsen.

In response to Heighberger’s lunacy, Nibiru News/someonesbones.com reached out to Dr. James Kolton, a professor of nuclear physics at Rochester Institute of Technology.

“Madness. Pure madness. Even a single low yield detonation will saturate the atmosphere particle radiation that will ultimately invariably distribute thousands of rads of deadly radiation across the stricken area. A single B-61 set to 140 Kilotons, half its maximum yield, detonated off the coast of Charleston, for example, will kill ten thousand, if not more,” he said.

 

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