Fiji Prime Minister Endorses Nibiru-Powered Smartphone App

According to a story first reported in the Washington Post, Fiji Prime minister Frank Bainimarama has publically endorsed a revolutionary smartphone application designed to harness the power of Nibiru. The application, tentatively called “InstaChrage,” combines complex programming algorithms and a small piece of hardware that plugs into a standard 3.5mm headphone jack, common on most smartphones. The announcement has drawn sharp scrutiny; critics claim the application breaks the laws of thermodynamics, while the developers and a majority of Nibiru researchers applauded Dr. Bainimarama for acknowledging the Nibiru realities and investing a significant portion of Fiji’s economy toward the groundbreaking technology.

The application, sources say, can recharge a cellphone’s battery to full capacity in as little as thirty seconds, depending on atmospheric and astronomical conditions. Dr. Bainimarama says he has successfully tested the program, which he hopes will make Fiji a telecommunications hub and information superpower in the Pacific.

“Nibiru is very powerful,” Dr. Bainimarama told the Washington Post. “I am not a scientist, but I do not believe that Nibiru will destroy the Earth. I do believe we can use its power to benefit life on Earth. I am proud to represent the first nation to endorse this technological wonder.”

The creators of the application—American Douglas Stewart and Fijian Gaurangbhai Patel—said their invention took many years of research to complete and underwent rigorous testing to authenticate its viability. Having received help from retired NASA scientists and Nibiru researchers, they officially launched the application at a lavish party last week in Fiji.

“We received help from eminent scientists, including a prominent Nibiru whistle-blower who still remains anonymous to protect his laboratory from NWO threats,” Stewart said. “Many people helped bring this tool to life. By using Nibiru’s natural energy, the phones will charge almost instantly. Think of the possibilities. InstaCharge has a 99.1% success rate when used correctly.”

According to Stewart, the smartphone rests in specially designed cradle. A micro-antenna is inserted into the headphone jack and pointed in Nibiru’s general direction. A status indicator on the cradle allows users to align the antenna for optimal use.

Our Washington source contacted Dr. Ronald Shimschuck, an ex-NASA scientist, Nibiru whistle-blower, and newly appointed member of President-elect Donald Trump’s Scientific Advisory Board.

“This is theoretically possible,” Dr. Shimschuck said. “Nibiru is creating a lot of untapped energy as it begins its counterclockwise spin around the sun and begins hurtling toward our inner solar system. It is creating massive amounts of electromagnetic and geo-thermic energy. If someone found a way to harness and utilize that power, the possibilities are endless. An end to fossil fuels. And end to reliance on nuclear energy. Free energy will become a reality—at least until Nibiru gets here and wipes us out.”

However, other experts insist that Stewart and Gaurangbhai are hucksters hoping to capitalize on ignorance and stupidity.

“This invention is absolute nonsense,” said Justin Bobwhite, a professor of Physical Chemistry at Victoria University in Wellington. “First, Nibiru is a fraud. Second, anyone who’s studied even high school physics knows that one of the fundamental principles is that energy cannot be destroyed or created. It’s simple, you can’t make energy from an app and a mythical planet.”

Dr. Bainimarama rebukes the criticism. “InstaCharge works. The only caveat is that it will not work with IPhones due to their proprietary technology. Apple’s loss. With Android phones, the sky’s the limit. Plus, we have added incentive for certain users. We want to offer peace to our Most Deplorable Neighbors, who claim to live in what some claim the Fuji Island; so we are announce the “Fiji-Fuji-Fuji-Fiji” initiative, to settle our border war with our alleged cousins in Fuji, who were not very nice at all to us in the past. But let by-gones be by-gones, let the bones be buried! This is our final offer of peace, to the Fuji rat bassets!”

The application and associated hardware will be made available during the first quarter of 2017, and will be obtainable via GooglePlay and AndroidStore.

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  • Waiting4Nibiru

    Nibiru cannot be used that way. Yes, it packs a tremendous punch of energy. So much energy that the phones would need enormous capacitors to mitigate the quantity of energy hitting their phones. No such capacitor could be placed into a smartphone, sorry. The man had a good idea but it won’t work at all.

    • matt janovic

      According to the Washington Post posted article, Istacharge developers have been able to invent a Nibiru energy deflecting shield, which allows the flawless operation of their appliance.

      • Waiting4Nibiru

        Impossible.

  • AbdielSchwitzer

    I tired these Nibiru. Very tired.

    • matt janovic

      I don’t think I am tiring Nibiru at all; He/She can take my chatter.
      However, I myself will never tire of Nibiru.

      • AbdielSchwitzer

        These not means I say matt janovic tired much story Nibiru and lies all makes fool people and even more untruth President Putin these website tries make joke but not funny.

        • matt janovic

          Not funny? I saw President Putin at press conference. He was funny, as always.

          President Putin is always funny, good jokes, good lines. Just look at what President Putin and his faithful agent Mr. Yossarian said when they appeared here a few months ago in the RT censor interview

          • AbdielSchwitzer

            No Yossarian.

          • matt janovic

            Yes Yossarian, good man. Smart, too

  • urallfools

    Bwahahahaha what kind of stupid shit is this?

  • JoshJacksonKY
  • JoshJacksonKY

    From now on, every time I see a google search result linking to this website, anytime I see a a link to this website on facebook or any other form of social media, I will flag it as fake news. If enough people follow my lead, this website will soon disappear.

    • matt janovic

      I second the motion. These website must be crushed! These website is a serious threat to democracy!

      • SolarWanderer

        I third it. This website has gone from a reliable source of nibiru news to smorgasbord of crap

        • matt janovic

          As long as critics, whether nasty or mild, are allowed to lambast this website, without risk of censorship, the Bones will win more and more readers.

    • Waiting4Nibiru

      Amazing how you hate this site so much but keep showing up on every story.

      • matt janovic

        “Molti nemici, molto onore.”
        “Many enemies, much honor.”

        Benito Mussolini
        11 febbraio 1926
        Vademecum del perfetto fascista,
        Vallecchi editore

        • AbdielSchwitzer

          What these? lies more?

      • #Note5 IsBoss

        we know what you do at nights creeper

    • FredSharp

      stop hating things you don’t understand

      • #Note5 IsBoss

        one could say the same to y ou since you fail to understand logic….so yeah, stop hating on him since you dont understand logic. had to spell it out to you since you are obviously deranged.

  • FredSharp

    a 99.1 efficiency rating is very good. Question is, what happens the other .9 % of the time. Does the phone simply fail to charge or does it blow up in the users face?

    • Somebones

      Good question. Many questions still need answering. Although the story was first picked up by Washington Post, they obtained only rudimentary information. We expanded on that through our own sources, as we always do. When/if I’m able to get more information on the product, I will certainly share it. Though if the device was prone to explode — I suspect the developers would try to conceal that fact.

  • #Note5 IsBoss
  • Squatch

    The more outlandish the story , the better for the cover up . The discovery of exoplanets using the method of recognizing Gravitational perturbation ‘s can be traced back to over 400 years to Galileo and Isaac Newton .You can even go back almost 500 years to Johannes Kepler , and his laws of planetary motion of exoplanets.

    The strange tilts and orbits of the outer planets , had confounded scientist for centuries , along with the perturbations of neptune and Uranus , the original term used for the unknown source perturbing the outer planets was planet X , hence the unknown source planet.

    Along the way , a valid concept of truth , had been willfully scapegoated over to more mysticism , to become the planned source of ridicule , the majority that floc with the safety in numbers, you know , the one’s that jump on the coattails of another , to ridicule , what they fail to research or cant understand.

    The one that ridicules , may not realize their being played as puppets for fuel in the propaganda machine.