Nibiru Monitoring Outpost Discovered in Aleutian Islands

The day before yesterday, January 6, 2017, elements of Vermont’s National Guard discovered an abandoned Nibiru monitoring station in the Aleutian Islands. As reported previously, allegations over Russia hacking Vermont’s power grid triggered a strong reaction from Governor Phil Scott. He activated the National Guard and dispatched a special task force to seize and hold the Aleutian Island of Chirkov, an uninhabited frozen wasteland located sixty miles off the Kamchatka Peninsula. Borrowed naval units, including a PB440 class patrol boat and three inflatable rafts, were airlifted to the Pacific before setting sail for Russia. A Pentagon source, wishing to remain anonymous, obtained a partial transcript of radio communications between the unit’s commander and, allegedly, a secret military installation in Vermont’s Green Mountains.

What should have been a routine operation was wrought with unforeseen complications. An impenetrable ice barrier encircled Chirkov Island, forcing the National Guardsmen to seek refuge at an uncharted area known as the Kamalov Atoll. In 2014, Vladimir Putin had allowed astronomy students from Donetsk University and the Marine Corps of the Donetsk People’s Republic to train on Kamalov Atoll, uninhabited except for a herd of self-sustaining cattle that miraculously survived on wheat grass atop a grassy knoll near the center of the island.

With the onset of Arctic winter, the students and the Donetsk Marines left the base; however, rumors in Moscow had it, that a dissident astronomer from Donetsk University, Professor Dr. Mikhayl Nikolayevich Tukhachevsky, had refused to leave, saying that he needed six months of solitude in the polar night, to pursue his studies.

While securing the island, the Vermont National Guard expeditionary force found more than just cattle. “My jaw dropped,” said commanding officer Lt. Scheisskopf. “Three hundred head of cattle grazing in a field of grass surrounded by ice on all sides. Who knows how long they’d been there? Then we spotted a structure atop an icy hill. I ordered Corporal Clevinger and Private Popinjay to take the hill.”

The structure turned out to be an abandoned astronomical observatory with a thirty-six inch refractive, parallax telescope, still functional. The building appeared deserted. The National Guardsmen cautiously cleared each room using Navy Seal approved counter-insurgency tactics. According the leaked transcript, Sergeant Porchinski, the team’s medic, thought he saw a shadow and ‘accidentally’ discharged his weapon, only to discover that his magazine had been filled with blanks. They all had blanks, no live ammunition. Apparently, Governor Scott felt that issuing live rounds would heighten the risk of creating an international incident if his forces met Russian resistance.

Regardless, the elite force secured the compound without encountering any Russians. Shockingly, they found the skeletal remains of a person, whose empty eye-socket still peered into the telescope’s optics and whose bony finger clutched a spiral-bound notepad filled with nearly undecipherable scribble, written in Cyrillic.

“It was nearly impossible to interpret,” Lt. Scheisskopf said. “Thank heaven Sergeant Porchinski spoke and read Cyrillic. The ink was faded on many pages—mathematical formulas, coordinates, and on one page the letters ‘n,’ ‘i,’ ‘r,’ and ‘u.’ Private First Class Wintergreen was looking over my shoulder, and he said, “Sir, that spells Nibiru!” I had never heard about Nibiru until he explained it to me. Then, we moved the skeleton and I looked into the telescope. What I saw chilled my bones.”

He saw a dense cloud of red iron-oxide dust swirling through space. In the center of the cloud sat a brown dwarf star, surrounded by seven orbiting planets, hurtling through the cosmos toward Earth. He stared ten minutes before looking away from the telescope.

“I couldn’t believe it,” Lt. Scheisskopf said. “For the first time in my life, I saw Nibiru. I contacted my commanding officer, General Dreedle, using secure radio transmissions. I let him know that our initial mission had been compromised and that we had found a Nibiru monitoring outpost. He ordered us to return home at once, but Murphy’s Law struck.”

While the National Guard investigated the observatory, a polar storm had descended on Kamalov Atoll and swept the rafts—and food rations—out to sea. Stranded and hungry, Lt. Scheisskopf radioed his commanding officer, requesting immediate extraction. But General Dreedle said that all air units were currently involved in training exercises and would not be available for several days, after which he would send an airlift to recover the lieutenant and his troops.

Lt. Scheisskopf requested permission to butcher, cook, and eat one or two of the cows so his men would not starve while awaiting rescue. General Dreedle, the report says, refused the request; slaughtering cattle of unknown origin, he said, might provoke an international incident, especially if the cows were Russian.

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  • Waiting4Nibiru

    You normally print good stuff but this seems highly questionable. Are you sure your sources are providing reliable information. You may need to double check them.

    • matt janovic

      I myself, although not involved in astronomy, had hear of a dissident known as Dr. Tukhachevsky.

  • JoshJacksonKY

    This “article” doesn’t even deserve a well-thought response. It’s just utter shit.

    • matt janovic

      Just because Vermont survived the vicious Russian attack, it does not mean that the Green Mountain State should not have reacted, no matter what certain liberals may feel. Things are changing, and any state has the right and duty to respond to aggression

  • USMC4Ever

    I suppose you think it’s funny to lampoon the men and women who serve and protect this country by portraying them as bumbling idiots. You shouldn’t mock the armed forces. We’re protecting you and your writes, and you’d be wise to give that some thought before writing more stories making fun of America’s Military. You did at least once before. I had hoped you got wise and stopped, but I guess I was wrong. The Marines can make fun of the BG. You don’t have that right. Copy?

    • matt janovic

      Look, they ain’t talking of the U.S. Marine Corps, but of the Donetsk PR’s marines. And they said nothing even against the DPR’s Marines

      • USMC4Ever

        Speaking on behalf of my brothers in arms, wherever they may be, I demand an immediate retraction of any information that falsely maligns the U.S. Military.

        • Waiting4Nibiru

          relax dude.

          • USMC4Ever

            Who the fuck are you to tell me to relax? I served my country. What have done? Fucking nut job

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            I saw Nibiru.

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            semper fi

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            Nibiru is real. it’s here

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            Haha no. No it’s not. Nor was my comment directed at you.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            I’ve served the Galactic Federation of Light. A much more powerful and reasonable orginization than the USMC

          • USMC4Ever

            You’re a slimy fucking piece of filth-ridden shit

          • matt janovic

            Not nice

          • D in B
        • matt janovic

          Maligning the U.S. Military? They are talking of the DPR’s marines. As for the Vermont National Guard, in this case, they seem to have operated competently, except for General Dreedle. Since when it’s inappropriate to make fun of generals–and governors?

          • USMC4Ever

            A general doesn’t get to be a general by acting foolish or stupid. Be suggesting otherwise, you are a fucking traitor…But your name doesn’t even sound fucking American anyway so you wouldn’t have a god damn clue what I’m talking about. And if you are in America you’re probably some fucking raghead here on a H1B Visa

          • matt janovic

            Of course, generals get generalized by studying hard and being smart.
            But sometimes they make little mistakes, like General Dreedle did. It’s an emergency, but all air units are involved in important exercises!

            That’s how soldiers can end up dead, stuck on a frozen island.

          • USMC4Ever

            That’s your answer? Trying to be clever and avoiding the real topic here

          • matt janovic

            I am just worried about those poor guardsmen on a God-forsaken island

          • USMC4Ever

            duh, the story is fake. There is no national guard troops outside of the United States of America.

          • ttuBkciD

            sure there are, they are stationed on Nibiru hahaha jk dude, such horseshit

          • matt janovic

            According to the above story, the Vermont National Guard is not stationed in Kamalov, it’s just stuck there temporarily

    • matt janovic

      What does BG mean?

      • USMC4Ever

        I meant NG — National Guard

        • matt janovic

          Thanks

  • SolarWanderer

    Boycott Someonesbones

    • matt janovic

      I will try to, but it won’t be so easy. I think they got me hooked…

  • AbdielSchwitzer

    these lies website says Mikhayl Nikolayevich Tukhachevsky is not truths. There is no Mikhayl Nikolayevich Tukhachevsky atronomer is made up like all things these website says. What these Kamalov Atoll? More fiction no real place named these.

    • matt janovic

      The definition of Tukhacevsky as an astronomer may be questionable. He is a known dissident, with a long-established passion for astronomy, even though his degrees are said to be in Physics

  • urallfools

    hahahaha such stupidness….National Guard exists to protect the state it serves. The governor DOES NOT have the authority to send troops overseas. In fact, he couldn’t even send them to MA. idiots. lol

    • matt janovic

      Ural lives in a perfect little world of his own, one in which things happen according to established procedures

  • Trumpet

    Officer Lt name Scheisskopf translated from German means Shithead. That doesnt add to the credibility of the story.

    • matt janovic

      Good point. However, if you were to google the name…

      • D in B

        nice, the first response in google is:

        Scheisskopf – Wikipedia
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheisskopf
        Also covered in this article are the minor characters Mrs Scheisskopf, and her friend Dori Duz. Scheisskopf is a minor fictional character in the novel Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, who is promoted through the ranks from Lieutenant to First Lieutenant, Colonel and finally to Lieutenant General … “Shithead” is a title by which fellow cadet training officer Lieutenant Engle ..

        highlight:

        “minor fictional character”

        • Waiting4Nibiru

          You fool. Nibiru is REAL. It’s HERE

          • D in B

            Blahaha you and black Jesus disagree. Unless you’re racist.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            I’m talking about Nibiru, the system, not Jesus. It’s real and it’s here and it’s getting close now

          • D in B

            Lmao it’s just as close as you are to going to the loony bin. If you disagree, then you hate Jesus. Who is black. Hence, you’re a racist.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            Jesus is not black! Blasphemer

          • D in B

            He is too. Black Jesus is not happy with you dude. He is coming to get you.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            Stop saying bad things about Jesus

          • matt janovic

            Please ignore the jerk.
            From his high chair he loves to insult people in their deepest feelings.

          • D in B

            I love you though

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            I love Jesus

          • D in B

            Black Jesus. Yeah, him.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            JESUS is not BLACK

          • D in B

            yes he is. its been proven time and time again. are u saying he is not black because you dont want him to be?? that is a racial issue.

          • matt janovic

            It is unlikely that an important Hebrew rebbe could have been of background different from other Hebrews, without anyone noticing the difference.

            Anyway, Dickib says that just to rile Christians, with an image different from the images they are familiar with.

          • D in B

            guess you are a christian since no one elses views are accepted. do much bible beating on the weekends too??

          • D in B

            Waaahhhhhhh

          • matt janovic

            I would be opposed to blacklisting commentators. However, certain nasty individuals, like Dick i.b, invite their exclusion from this discussion. Starting with his avatar, this guy announces his low-class status; he writes in a style that reminds me of a vile exchange of yo mama dozens between Indian and Pakistani mentally challenged haters, as they discuss their respective nations, mothers, and sisters.

            Do these guys contribute anything? Sometimes; today, Dick i. b. did follow my tip and discovered the parentage of Lt Scheisskop. Good. So, I vote to let him continue to molest the readers with his petty nastiness.

          • D in B

            Cry baby. Hey get over it before you hurt yourself.

          • matt janovic

            This guy thinks he can strut about, “spitting into people’s souls.”
            I do not share religion or beliefs with my friends here; however, bullies bother me.

          • D in B

            Do you think Jesus is black too?

          • matt janovic

            Irrelevant. Jesus was a radical rebbe who challenged the status quo. Like tens of thousands of other Hebrews, the Romans crucified him.

            No matter whether your history is right or wrong, you have no right to spit into people’s souls.

  • Waiting4Nibiru
  • Squatch

    A little bit of background research induced by Cheap wine and 211 , mainly just some Names , Dates , and key words on the subject , for anyone inclined….

    linking the cultures of the natives of Kayak island to those of kamchatka ,Tlingit ,related to captain josaph billing , Steller and the St. Peter,Kiska Island,Samechi Island , Steller reaching Komandorskie island , now known as Bering Island.men eating the sea cows ” delicious they exclaied”.August 17, men reached Kamchatka .18th century exploration.

    as to referance of Donetsk ,recent scholorship has shed considerable new light on the Dane. Aug of 1991 a joint Danish and Russian expidition to “Bearing” island , found the remains of Bearing.

    Krinitsyn voyage 1764 to 1769 ordered by Empress , Cathrine the Great. this voyage included astronomical observations.

    Russian Settlement ,Un Alaska bay(Illiuliuk)

    Cyrillic alphabet, currently used in more than 50 languages

    • matt janovic

      Thanks for pointing out the difficulty that Seargent Porcinsky would have had trying to speak Cyrillic. Apparently, the Bones writer lacked sufficient immersion in the Slavic world to avoid quayling.
      See “I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.” –Dan Quayle

      • Squatch

        Thanks friend.
        If I had resolved on the subject of this “planet x “, as pure fiction , I would have moved on years ago . I’m just a poor furniture builder with a bad back and a bum knee , but I have been fascinated in astrophysics/astronomy for a long time , try my best to keep an open mind , I hate to see history repeat itself , like say “galileo/vatican” . Somewhere along the line in history ,this subject went deep underground , a subject just as natural as any other discovery , laws that fit right into Kepler , Newton , and Einstein .
        There are so many twists and turns on the subject , treasure trove of old pdf’s , from university sites , science journals , astronomers meetings , etc .

        When big space agencies , are tossing out new ground breaking discoveries , that had already made headlines 40 years ago , they are teasing me with doom porn…..

  • TomTom

    I could not find Kamolov on any map

    • matt janovic

      No problem, must be a spelling error. Try KomAlong

      • D in B

        just gotta keep making stuff up until you find soemthing I guess….that seems the theme with Nibiru

        • Waiting4Nibiru

          I don’t know about Kamalov…but i saw Nibiru last night

          • D in B

            I’m sure you did. I seen your girl last night. She scared me to death. Have fun supporting my seed bro.

          • matt janovic

            Should this jerk be chased out of here, for lowering standards and for making people more sad and less wise?

          • D in B

            Awww shut up the opposition. That’ll do it. Typical American.

          • matt janovic

            I am against shutting up the opposition. In real life, a guy who insults people, spitting into their souls, is accompanied to the door.

            This should not be done here; still, what’s the solution for a bully like this?

          • D in B

            Are u trying to banish someone? Narc

          • matt janovic

            No, I am just asking whether the moderator should tolerate continuous bullying against people, their religious beliefs and their loved ones. I believe that you should be tolerated; still, the issue should be discussed

          • D in B

            Awww I hurt your feelings. 🙁 I’m sorry.

          • matt janovic

            Since I have no feelings about religion or Nibiru, my feelings cannot be hurt.

            It’s just that civilized older people should not bully younger or more sensitive people. Try bullying the Donald or Obama or Hillary.

          • D in B

            Must be hurt if you are asking me to be banned. I am my bullying you but you are a nerd and a liar.

          • matt janovic

            This guy was not bullying me, he was bullying two young people on this website. I discussed the problem, but I actually asked for him not to be banned, in case the matter were to be taken up by moderator

          • D in B

            You are posting comments implying one to be banned idiot. It’s simple logic. You are an assclown loser.

        • matt janovic

          Yes, on the map, I found the Island of TwoTonKomAlong. That’s the right one for sure

          • D in B

            Haha you aren’t even sure. “That’s the right one for sure”. Such uncertainty.

    • D in B

      u wont find it cause it doesnt exist. just as nibiru doesnt.

  • D in B

    before you read the comments, this is the type of reader found here. Racist, delusional asshats who dont know logic from a can of paint. Move along people.

    D in B matt janovic • 14 hours ago
    Do you think Jesus is black too?
    • Edit• Reply•Share ›

    Avatar
    matt janovic D in B • 14 hours ago
    Irrelevant. Jesus was a radical rebbe who challenged the status quo. Like tens of thousands of other Hebrews, the Romans crucified him.
    No matter whether your history is right or wrong, you have no right to spit into people’s souls.
    • Reply•Share ›

    Avatar
    Waiting4Nibiru D in B • 15 hours ago
    Stop saying bad things about Jesus
    • Reply•Share ›

    • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      well i hate people who troll…like u are clearly doing….but i do agree. seems more on the racist side. we all should be able to believe Jesus is whichever race we want. I believe he is white. Many point to him being from the middle east, which there were no white people back then. a lot of people do believe he was in fact black. I dont agree with you, but i find it a bit racist to respond like they are responding…..just as I find it trolling like u are responding.

      • D in B

        fair view. if they disagreed with a bit of logic like this, i would not have such a problem.

        but they arent. they are racist white americans, which is whats wrong with the world today.

      • matt janovic

        It is unlikely that an important Hebrew rebbe could have been of background different from other Hebrews, without anyone noticing the difference.

        The issue here is not the racial background of a rebbe from Nazareth.

        The issue is that DIckib has developed a thing against Waiting and Jessica, and has been spending his free time insulting them, since yesterday. Noticing that Waiting has a deep love for Joshua of Nazareth, noticing that he visualizes Jesus as a 60’s white hippie, he fired at Waiting the black Jesus line.

        I do not think that such behavior is appropriate in a grown-up.

        • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          disagree to quite the majority of your viewpoints. who cares what he is saying, its his god given right to do whatever he wants to whomever he chooses. you are rallying the mod to ban him, that is VERY OBVIOUS. block him and grow up your self. You sound like a child. get over it.

          and who are we to say what color jesus’ skin is. i am jewish but recognize that everyone has the right to their opinion. you should do the same before you continue to come off like a 15 year child who just got told whats up in the playground.

          • D in B

            oooooooooooo hahahahahaha!! GET EM HOWARD!!!

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            shut up, i’m blokcing you too. you are an idiot. just as that waiting douche is. he is blocked. at least this matt-character has a bit of sense to him and calls this site out when they post completely stupid articles.

            Blocked.

          • Somebones

            The mod tries his best to remain impartial.

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            I know. he is OBVIOUSLY lobbying to get this other idiot banned. I just blocked him. I dont see a reason to block Matt though. his posts are comical at least. Waiting is completely off the deep end.

          • matt janovic

            I am not a Christian, I am an agnostic 81-year old man of Jewish/catholic background. I am not a Nibiruite.

            There is a Russian expression, “spitting into someone’s soul.” It means to insult something, someone, that others hold very dear. In this case, Dickib insults a very young lady and attacks a religious image that a young man has developed. It’s not grown-up behavior.

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            it is. its not your job to police that, nor fight someone elses fight. you want to defend someone, defend someone who contributes to society in more impactful ways, rather than someone who says they travel to a make believe place. this makes you comical in my eyes, as well as many others who regular this site. some days, depending on your attitude I guess, you are interesting to read into. 90% of the time, i read your responses below and scoff because I find it hypocritical that you get mad when you defend such liars, and delusional people who need serious, professional help.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            Nibiru is not make believe. And I have traveled there.

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            haha, thanks for proving my point. @matt_janovic:disqus this is why I scoff at you.

          • matt janovic

            But you scoff politely, normally. You do not piss on Waiting’s grave, or on his bed.

            There are plenty of horrors in Christianity, or Judaism. However, attacking the feelings of individual Christians, desecrating their sacred graven images, is inappropriate. In my part of the world, this attitude has brought war.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            These people don’t bother me. At least I get to go to Nibiru.

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            haha very true to the first part. which is why i some times find you interesting.

            and i’m not saying u cannot have your view, u should be doing the same to this troll.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            Jesus loves all.

          • matt janovic

            I don’t want Dickib banned, I just say that there ought to be a response to a chain of insults against Waiting and Jessica.

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            quit back pedaling. read your comments. you were very sarcastic with your:

            matt janovic Guest • 17 hours ago
            Should this jerk be chased out of here, for lowering standards and for making people more sad and less wise?
            • Reply•Share ›

            matt janovic D in B • 16 hours ago
            I am against shutting up the opposition. In real life, a guy who insults people, spitting into their souls, is accompanied to the door.

            This should not be done here; still, what’s the solution for a bully like this?
            • Reply•Share ›

            matt janovic D in B • 16 hours ago
            No, I am just asking whether the moderator should tolerate continuous bullying against people, their religious beliefs and their loved ones. I believe that you should be tolerated; still, the issue should be discussed
            • Reply•Share ›

            alllllllll lobbying. “I believe that you should be tolerated; still, the issue should be discussed
            • Reply•Share ›”. Simple logic can destroy your argument. Act your age. Your 20 years my senior, and I read your comments with quite a bit of shame.

          • matt janovic

            I think that Mod has never banned anyone, so the issue is how to deal with bullies. Group pressure may be the only way.

          • Howard Stern ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            true. thats why i stated simply to block him. hit the down arrow next to his user name. hit block.

            easy. solved. i blocked your best friend.

  • Antoua B

    This story is an insult to any intelligent mind…Think about it for a second, these marines found a skeleton of a guy still peering into telescope, could be easily 15-20 years that may have passed since he died since his body went to a total decomposition in cold arctic climate. Soldiers take a look through telescope just to find Nibiru that hasn’t moved in its orbit for decades, stuck in the very same spot where this dead scientist locked up his telescope, still there, obediently waiting to be seen by the soldiers so it can finally move on again. I am afraid it’s time to look for more credible sources of information on Nibiru…kinda liked it at first but not a single one of these stories at any time proved to have and credibility…

    • matt janovic

      “Credibility, credibility, credibility, how many times have you heard this tiresome phrase?” I can imagine this is what “Bob and Ray” would have answered.

      Of course, the word skeleton is a hyperbole, inexact without being intentionally false.

      When, in the Arctic or on high mountains, the fire goes out, a body freezes; then it dries up, and becomes mummified. So, do forgive Lieutenant Scheisskopf for using the term “skeletal”, instead of “mummified”.