Nibiru Monitoring Rocket Sabotaged
On Sunday, January 15, we printed an exclusive story of earth-shattering importance: a shadowy organization called SpaceX launched a revolutionary rocket, the Falcon 9, to confirm previously established reports that Nibiru had frozen in space and halted its deadly approach toward planet Earth.
SpaceX hid the true nature of the launch; it claimed Falcon9 carried routine satellite relays, which were to be deployed in geosynchronous orbit. Our source uncovered the truth behind Saturday’s launch—Falcon 9’ payload module was filled with infrared detection and motion sensor devices created specifically to evaluate Nibiru’s current position. When classified reports indicating Nibiru had stopped in space leaked to the press, President-elect Donald J. Trump took the initiative, rallying the assistance of SpaceX founder Elon Musk, whose rocket blasted off into space early Saturday morning.
Using cutting-edge fuel consisting of pasteurized helium, corrugated liquid methane, and hardened tritium, the rocket should have reached orbit around Mars at 4 am (EST) Tuesday morning.
However, our Vandenberg source provided shocking information—nefarious persons, it seems, may have deliberately sabotaged the rocket by tampering with its internal guidance systems and its quad-controlled dual reverse-osmosis thrust vectoring system. The rocket sped past Mars, arching toward the outer solar system at near-warp speeds, and incinerated as it plunged into Venus’s scorching atmosphere.
“Accidents like this don’t happen for no reason,” our source said. “The rocket should’ve safely established orbit around mars and deployed the Nibiru monitoring payload. Everything was triple checked in advance. Suspicious. Most suspicious. Trump was relying on this information. He wanted to talk about Nibiru during his inaugural address—but wanted confirmation that Nibiru had stopped being a threat to Earth.”
Democratic saboteurs, our source says, are the usual suspects. According to usually reliable sources, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama had learned about Trump’s fascination with Nibiru and about the bona fide reason Falcon 9 had been rushed for launch preparations. Hours prior to launch, suspicious persons had been observed maneuvering around the launch platform.
Jose Ortivilla, a janitor whose work includes scrubbing carbon scoring from the cement below the launch site, said he saw four men scurrying near the Falcon 9 hours before departure.
“I was about thirty feet away from these men,” Ortivilla said. “Three of them wore lab coats and stood in a triangle around the rocket. They had electronic boxes with spinning antennas. They were pushing buttons on the boxes while looking up at the rocket. The fourth man was thin, in black suit and tie, standing silent with his arms folded across his chest, nodding his head slowly. I didn’t think anything was strange because the men in coats dressed just like Vandenberg technicians. Only after the mission failed did I think something wrong. My supervisor called me into his office and showed me a book of mug shots. One picture matched the man in the suit. I saw then that it was John Podesta. I remember having seen a picture in the paper of him and Hillary Clinton together.”
The implication seems clear: Hillary loyalists have desperately sought to discredit President-elect Trump and scuttle his chances of setting foot in the Oval Office. If Falcon 9’s mission had succeeded—proving Nibiru was no longer a hazard to humanity—Trump’s popularity would have soared. Even diehard liberals would have thanked him for disclosing the Nibiru realities, forever condemning the Democratic Party to a life of political obscurity.
Unfortunately, no other rockets remain available. Trump’s only hope is to recover the telescope that first proved Nibiru is frozen in space. But that piece of optical equipment is thousands of miles away, on the Russian owned Kamalov Atoll, now said to be guarded by a regiment of Spetznaz commandos.
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