Pope Francis Prays for Deliverance from Nibiru

Last Monday, Pope Francis held a private meeting at which he told Pontifical clergy to pray for deliverance from Nibiru, said a Vatican insider speaking under condition of anonymity. The gathering occurred shortly after he publically delivered an entirely different message to the Pontifical Academy of sciences, telling the ecclesiastical herd that the two greatest threats to humanity are nuclear war and man-made climate change.  At a clandestine assembly at the Apostolic Palace , however, the Pope changed his tune and told trusted cardinals and bishops that only their collective prayers can stop Nibiru the Destroyer from unleashing untold havoc upon the world.

Without citing a date, the Pope said, “Time is short,” and that Nibiru is rapidly speeding toward a position that will place it between the Earth and the Sun; when that happens, he added, the institution of Catholicism would face Judgment Day.

“Pope Francis isn’t concerned with the millions of Catholics across the world. It’s all about survival for the Vatican and Catholicism. He knows the sins that have been committed by his flock, and that his silence on issues of greed, corruption, and pedophilic priests has jeopardized the continuance of the institution.  He believes that Nibiru will smite the Vatican and condemn him and thousands of priests to purgatory when Nibiru reaches perigee, Judgment Day. He hopes their prayers can prevent that from happening by sending Nibiru away. The Vatican has known of and feared Nibiru for a long time,” our source said.

The Vatican has long known of Nibiru. Records from the Vatican Secret Archives, which were separated from the Vatican Library in the 17th Century, proved that in 1623 Antonio Margaretti, a professor of mathematics at the Jesuit College Romano, observed the Nibiru System from the Tori Del Venti Observatory, a covert optical telescope located forty miles northwest of Rome. Even back then, with primitive optics, they realized the Nibiru System would again intersect our inner solar system in the first half of the 21st Century. Ever since, the Bishops of Rome have feared its return, and have shared specific knowledge of its existence with only their most pious counsel.

“The wrongdoings of the Catholic Church date back centuries,” our source said. “Even though we might only hear of recent incidents. Without mentioning Nibiru by name, Pope Francis has urged men of the cloth to pray for divine intervention,” our source said.

Francis is the first Pope in history to write an encyclical letter, called mortem a stellis, translated “Death from the Stars,” in which he begged his sheep to purge themselves of evil thoughts and deeds. In doing so, and by accepting the Grace of God and His gifts, Nibiru the Destroyer might vacate our solar system without claiming lives or causing devastation, Pope Francis wrote.

“The gist of the letter was repent now but feel free to go back to what you were doing after Nibiru leaves, because it won’t be around again for another 3600 years. Francis is no different from any other political or religious figurehead. He has a public face and a private face.  We must fear his private face,” our source said.

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