Trump Picks Nibiru Astronomers As Scientific Advisors

According to the Washington Post, Today, President-elect Donald J. Trump shocked the scientific community by naming a pair of Nibiru whistle-blowers to the United States President’s Council of Advisors on Science and Technology (PCAST). He handpicked Dr. Ronald Shimschuck and Dr. Ethan Trowbridge as co-chairs of PCAST.

Dr. Shimschuck’s credentials are unimpeachable; a former MIT graduate and NASA scientist, Dr. Shimschuck sacrificed his career and safety to warn the world about Nibiru, said to be a brown dwarf star and seven companion planets on a near collision course with Earth. He gnogo3hhas survived numerous attempted assassinations and abductions by unsavory persons eager to silence him. In May, during a highly anticipated interview with truth seeker Steve Olson, two men with Armenian accents barged into Dr. Shimschuck’s Tiblisi safe house and shot him with a tranquilizer dart. He barely escaped with his life. To this day, he is reluctant about discussing the details of the incident, but admits to being offered large amounts of cash in exchange for “forgetting” about Nibiru.

Dr. Ethan Trowbridge has impeccable credentials. He graduated from the University of Iowa with a Masters in Climatological Sciences. He was formerly employed by the USGS, where he learned about the Nibiru reality and its cover-up. He asserts that Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama are directly responsible for perpetuating the cover-up.

Their appointments sharply contrast Trump’s hawkish cabinet picks, a move that has confounded mainstream academia. These choices alarmed the scientific community, defying predictions that Trump would pick conservative scientific voices instead of a pair of disenfranchised outliers whose views have been repudiated by colleagues across the world.

Dr. Shimschuck, however, is confident in Trump’s decision.

“This better, much better,” said Dr. Shimschuck. “Ethan and I knew Trump would make the right decision. It’s been well established that nibiru-earth-collisionhe believes in Nibiru’s existence. Dr. Trowbridge and I will assist him in any possible way to help bring this topic to light. Trump even promised Vladimir Putin he would reveal Nibiru to the world. Finally, I think, we will see this happen in January. I can’t say much more now. I was sworn to secrecy!”

Dr. Trowbridge was a bit more forthcoming regarding his interview with the president-elect.

“I met him at Trump Tower. We had lunch. He had oysters; I had a ham sandwich,” Dr. Trowbridge said. “He quizzed me thoroughly on my scientific knowledge. He asked many tough questions. He asked me if the sun revolved around the Earth. I said no. He got upset and insisted it did. I showed him some evidence contradicting his belief. He said he’d keep an open mind and think about it. Then I had to answer five multiple-choice questions about Nibiru. Trump is a smart man. He knows what to do.”

Apparently, Vice President-Elect Michael Pence agrees: “Trump made a smart move. These men represent the best in their fields. There are no brighter minds on the planet,” Pence said.

An analysis of Trump’s picks points to an interesting conclusion: he is staffing his cabinet with a combination of battle-hardened generals and peace activists like John Bolton. Each appointment has been a small piece to a large puzzle, forming an elaborate mosaic, illustrating Trump’ plan to tackle the impending Nibiru apocalypse.

26,335 total views, 242 views today

  • JoshJacksonKY

    Somehow I doubt WaPo said this. If it did, prove it.

    • matt janovic

      I saw it.

      • matt janovic

        And many others saw it too

        • JoshJacksonKY

          bullshit. link?

          • matt janovic

            I saw it clearly, it was posted

          • JoshJacksonKY

            Link to online story please

          • matt janovic

            I am computer illiterate, so I normally buy the Post. Today, i left my wallet home; luckily, at the Dunkin Donuts, in Washington, they post the Post, for the benefit of less affluent customers.

            That’s where I read the story. It’s the DD next to the Eastern Market Metro station, between 8th and 9th Street SE.

          • JoshJacksonKY

            Computer illiterate but have at least been posting here for 6-7 months?

          • matt janovic

            Precisely, my great-granddaughter Marina does all the work, on her laptop. I just dictate.

  • Waiting4Nibiru

    Good for Trump. Glad to see he’s on the right track.

    • JoshJacksonKY

      You are truly stupid.

  • AbdielSchwitzer

    These websites no shame one lies after another lies more lies all time

    • matt janovic

      Please, Abdiel, you cannot suddenly change your own grammatical rules!
      In English, you add an s to make a noun plural: website, websites.
      So it’s these website for singular, this websites for plural.

      • AbdielSchwitzer

        Why always repeat self matt janovic

        • matt janovic

          You speak German, so please translate it for us

          • Sipowicz Yevgeny

            When f-lies fly behind f-lies, then f-lies fly after f-lies–I think

          • AbdielSchwitzer

            No truths matt janovic no truths

          • matt janovic

            Much truth; all my Jewish friends know a little German, or Yiddish.

  • urallfools

    hahahahahahahaha such bulll shittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

    • matt janovic

      Peals of laughter are heard from the charmed Urals

  • urallfools

    I hate someonesbones

    • matt janovic

      I can’t stand it either. Wonder why I keep coming back

  • SolarWanderer

    This story is so full of holes it would make good swiss cheese.

    • Sipowicz Yevgeny

      Unbeliever!

  • ttuBkciD

    blahahahaha wtf is this horseshit?

    • Waiting4Nibiru

      The truth. something you might want to consider.

      • ttuBkciD

        Hahahahahahahaha nerd

        • Waiting4Nibiru

          Even if I’m a nerd I’m not blinded to reality

          • ttuBkciD

            you are looking right over it dude, you need to seek guidance from a professional. u are hoping this thing hits us, this thing that was supposed to be here for the past 30 years….every year its supposed to be here. every year it gets rescheduled. why?? oh yeah, it doesnt exist.

            Idiot.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            it exists and it is here

          • ttuBkciD

            where??? where is the proof??? other than you living there you wacko. u have no proof. you ignored everything i said. its been rescheduled for YEARS. is this thing a hippy 16 year old girl who just cant get ready on time because shes gotta do her friggin make-up?? you are losing.

          • Waiting4Nibiru
          • ttuBkciD

            LMFAO this is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard of. did you listen to her horrible grammatical skills? wtf does this have to do with nibiru?? she says NOTHING, explains NOTHING, complete illogical fallacies. do you know what its called when a politician just goes on and on and on without saying ANYTHING? the lady asks for something specific….she has none. you have none, you are full of shit just like this idiotic pyscho woman. you two must be married or banging.

            have fun with that dude.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            Haven’t you heard of reading between the lines

          • ttuBkciD

            have you heard of a logical argument with proof, facts and factual statements?? she has none. she just speaks rhetoric with no outlines of a factual argument. neither do you. I make statements, ask serious questions, u fail to answer or respond to them with a logical debate. U dont even say anything. U keep speaking….nothing is ever being said.

            WTF DEFLECT DEFLECT DEFLECT!! get a life, find a girl, bang that girl, have kids, raise those kids correctly so they can be a constructive use in life, go to their graduation, go to work, retire, play golf, get old, mow your grass, put up christmas lights, yell at the neighbor kids for stepping on your nice flush grass. die in peace. dont die being laughed at.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            You are too close minded. Did you listen to her words? Did you HEAR her? The things she says lighten the universe and bring meaning and truth to preconveiences so many people cling to. If anyone laughs at me, I don’t care. I know the truth. I’ve seen the thruth. I lived the truth.

          • ttuBkciD

            hahaha you are burying yourself so deep in mounds of dogshit that you are still not talking logical sense. she said nothing in specific. she spoke nothing but fluff. No better than a politician rambling about nothing in particular in order to appear meaningful. you have yet to spell anything out to me, just as she has not to you. one could take what she said and use to predict this next weeks football scores, dork. You obviously want us all to die, just by you supporting such negative energy. get over yourself and read my last post.

          • Waiting4Nibiru

            Your ears are plugged, your eyes closed. This crystal child speaks a truth only the enlightened can comprehend

          • ttuBkciD

            lol exactly. nonsense.

          • Waiting4Nibiru
          • matt janovic

            “This is proof that even cute girls can be bats hit crazy”
            “you are full of shit just like this idiotic pyscho woman”
            “horrible grammatical skills”

            Why be so angry with someone who appears to be happy, eloquent, and successful? Fantasy or reality, why should you care?

          • ttuBkciD

            Get over it and quit sticking up for your girlfriend idiot.

          • JoshJacksonKY

            This is proof that even cute girls can be batshit crazy

          • AbdielSchwitzer

            no truths

  • Freempg

    I come here for the mix of truth and fiction, very imaginative, great writing. To some of the posters here, must suck going through life without a sense of humor.

  • Dina Jones

    In 1969/70 it was on Magazine Scientific America, then in mid 1980’s the realization it would be a close flyby, Since 2012 our magnetic North has been moving almost exponentially. I find a variation w my compass readings at diff times.Our volcanoes/earthquakes have increased tremendous. Live & love each day. Lot of Astronomers have lost their life, 120 to date.
    Wormwood does not act/move like any other,speeds up & slows down. I have seen in Aug /16.

  • RIGHT

    get the marshmellows out

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