Vladimir Putin: World Underestimating Anunnaki Threat

On Jan 20th Russian President Vladimir held a private security meeting during which he told Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu and specialists from Russia’s clandestine Mezhgorye extraterrestrial outpost that the world gravely underestimates the Anunnaki threat and expressed dismay over other leaders’ refusal to recognize the alien pestilence as a paramount threat to humanity.

Putin called the meeting in response a recent resurgence in Anunnaki activity following a four month lull that almost convinced him that the villainous invaders had departed Earth to plunder another unsuspecting planet.  But on Jan 15, the creatures mysteriously penetrated Kremlin security and reminded Putin that they were still around, watching and waiting, and offered him a final opportunity to collaborate with them. In exchange, Russia would be spared Anunnaki wrath, while the rest of the world is taken for slave labor or food. The ever stoic Putin defied Anunnaki authority, telling the lead emissary that neither he nor Russia would capitulate to alien demands.  He purportedly told them to leave Earth and never return.

This information comes from a tenured MoD source whose statements corroborate testimony given by the late Strelnikov Isaac Stepanovich, who died in the pursuit of higher truths.

“The monsters said to Putin time is short and then just disappeared,” our source said. “They seem to be taunting him, play with him, like they want his willing cooperation. After the incident, he conveyed a meeting with senior staff and also reached out to foreign leaders for assistance.”

Our source said Trump was Putin’s first call, but the American President allegedly said he had his own alien problem in the form of migrant caravans marching on America’s southern border and therefore could not be bothered with apocryphal stories of gigantic extraterrestrials that appear and disappear at will.  Angela Merkel refused to contribute, saying money given to Russia would likely go toward weapons to be used on Germany and other western powers.

“President Putin telephoned a dozen other leaders for help, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. Many believe the Anunnaki is just a fairy tale told to frighten naughty Russian children. Others said Putin is grossly exaggerating the Anunnaki danger for some hidden agenda. He told them it’s time for countries to set aside petty bickering and to stop underestimating the alien threat.”

Putin is desperate for help, our source added, because Russia spent the entirety of its 2016-2018 budget surplus on developing anti-Anunnaki technology, such as energy weapons and acoustic dampeners that inhibit alien teleportation devices. Russia has overextended itself financially and militarily, and must receive an infusion of cash and cooperation to sustain the fight.

“Much Russian blood has been spilled to these things. Anunnaki are always devising new defenses. President Putin does not believe this war should be a unilateral effort. He wants and needs support, and has made many overtures. He even offered to withdraw Russian forces from Syria—after the Anunnaki in that region had been defeated. But NATO and the U.N. did not care to hear him,” our source said.

Putin told the MoD he would fight the Anunnaki with his last breath, and encouraged Mezhgorye extraterrestrial specialists to develop new anti-Anunnaki countermeasures with what resources they have available. Putin, who is not typically known for acts of extreme austerity, said he does not know from where future injections of cash will come.

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The author of this website is a semi-retired English teacher and former journalist for the New York Post and The Village Voice. He grew tired of mainstream lies and persues a less than lucrative carreer as an alternative news reporter and caregiver for one Nasty cat.